I’ve reached a bottleneck in terms of blogging, that explains why I long time nv post le. Haha no la, it’s just that I have no time. I wanna be the hardworking student, perfect bf, perfect son, perfect future son-in-law, so I spent my time trying to fulfill the above roles. I tink it will take another 1078 posts before I reach a bottleneck. First up, ktv pictures. People who know me from long time ago only have the same few remarks. 
"eh kok hong, wat happened? NIE good life right?” “wah teacher good pay rite, every day eat a lot meat.” “wah kok hong, why u now so fair and meaty?” And the list goes on. I went back to my contract school some time ago, my close ex colleague cum table tennis kaki Danny exclaimed when he saw me, “WAH, why u become so fat? How u gonna win me ping pong now?” “fatter means I now more power to smash the ball harder. On purpose grow more fat one.” For people who don’t know me before I came into NIE, here are some pics to contrast with the one I took long time ago. I’ve definitely seen better days in terms of amount of fats and especially on my face. To conclude, NIE really good life. And I am diagnosed with 易胖症（easy-to-become-fat-disease） 
taken in 2006 
Shit I don’t recognize the past me anymore. Next I wanna congratulate Barack Obama for the win. Americans have shown that they are becoming colour-blind now, which is good. Hopefully it’s signs of more good things to follow. One Obama supported said, “it’s the first time I am proud of my generation”. Another said, “When he(Obama) talks, you feel like he’s talking to you”. Congrats to Lewis Hamilton(another black guy for making history) for becoming the youngest ever champion. Love or hate him, this guy is why F1 is more popular than ever. But he will not have it easy next year. Kimi should just retire and let Alonso take over his Ferrari. Renault is not gonna win Mcclaren next year. Came across 2 NIE classmates over facebook. One from my English DLK class(I’m not naming her in case she does not want to be named, she’s a sweet looking girl in Chinese cohort too), commented that my blog has a lot of cock, and too long, so it’s not reader-friendly. I may not be able to reduce the length of my posts at the moment, cos it takes time to change the lor-so nature, but I will try to make them more reader-friendly with funnier posts and more pics. Haha. But the next point is the main point. She guessed the age of Suyun and me. As usual, she is like the 1074 others before her who guessed the ages wrongly, and as usual, she under-estimated Suyun’s age and over-estimated mine. Yes Suyun is Chao Gin-na, and I am Chao Lao. But she says I look mature! Haha, and I everytime in class also very serious and talk about serious stuff one. Yes, Dixie, Qiaofen, Wenjie, Ziying and you Suyun, I am mature ok? Being funny does not mean I cannot talk about serious stuff or be mature. The next person, a nice girl from my Chinese tutorial class, asked me whether the story abt the guy who flushed his $1000 dollar note down the toilet bowl is true or not. No, the person is real, he is really rich, but the event is not. Who knows, he really did flushed money down the toilet bowl, maybe $10 only. But no, I created this event to highlight how rich he is. Haha. And so my classmate says I must blog about real stuff. Ok I promise next time I will make it more obvious that it is a joke purely. Time for my favourite tuition kid, Ryan to enter the fray again, the same boy whose pencil touched his little brother indirectly. I went over on Monday night, and he showed me a tank of fishes he brought home from the day’s learning journey his school organized. It was to a kampong. I don’t know that kampong still exists in Spore. Ok anyway, the tank had like abt 15 fishes. 2-3 were like motionless already. “how come there are 2 fish that are not moving already?” I asked him. “don’t know”. He replied then started to shake the tank. The 2 motionless fish began to move, a bit only. “did u feed them?” “got. U see.” Den he proceeded to show me the tin of fish food. “I think they lack oxygen”. “?????” his face showed a blank, den I realized he probably don’t know what Is oxygen. “okay, I think the fishes lack air, u know, u got see outside fish tanks got bubbles one? Those are air bubbles. Tml ask ur mum buy one small one.” “how come they need air?” “take ur fingers, and hold onto ur nose, and close ur nose holes(I cannot say nostrils cause he wont understand)”. He proceeded to deprive himself of air by following my orders. “haha. Fun.” “%&?!#&! Not fun, do u feel like v suffocating? As in v uncomfortable?” “ya, like swimming like that, but this is fun.” “$%%#&@, fun, but dont play it often please, and dont tell ur mum i teach u one. i didnt meant for it to be fun”. “so the fish need air, u must give them the air tml ok?” “ok” Den tuiton continued, but he was very distracted by the fish, so I covered them with a standing book. After like half an hour, when the hour of tuition is finished, we took a look at the fish again. OMG! Nearly all are motionless already. See the picture below to get what I mean. 
“huh, why become like that?” “erm.. I tink they really lack air. Ok bring me a straw, quick.” He returned with a pair of wooden chopsticks. “the fish are gonna die faster if u insert this pair of chopsticks into the water, straw, faster.” “haha ok, auntie(his maid), straw la, not chopsticks!” He came back with a purple(one of my fav colours) straw. So I did what I had to do, which is suck some air into my mouth, and blow them into the water using the straw. Ryan watched on, hoping a miracle will happen. I repeated the blowing for a few times, until I tink my lungs are filled with evaporated fish water. “I think it’s too late. Either that or they are not used to the tap water”. “huh” den he started to cry. “oh poor boy, he really is a kind hearted boy, don’t wish to see animals die” I was thinking to myself. “don’t cry ok, it’s not ur fault. U did ur best already.” “but. But, next time cannot catch already, next time I no more fish already” “chey, yuan lai u just cry cos u no more pet, not cos the fish die. Pui.” I was thinking to myself again. “ok I tell u what, do well in ur exams next year, and tell ur mummy to buy u some fish, but u really take good care of them”. I got a long silence. “ok I gotta go, u go rest well and don’t tink so much already ok? It’s not ur fault, the fish are not fated to be ur pets”. I really dono why I will mention abt fate, forgetting he’s only 7 years old. As I reached his living room, he was actually blowing into the tank with the straw “hey! Don’t use that straw! I don’t want u to kiss me indirectly!” no of cos I did not say this. I said this instead, “eh don’t do it! It’s useless. It’s not ur fault ok.” I don’t want him to blow blow blow den accidentally suck and suck the water into his stomach den I sure tio complain. The next day I went over, he seems to forgot about it already and still is his naughty and chirpy self. Why do I say he’s naughty? His Chinese is quite bad, so I was teaching him to read “男and女”. “你是男的还是女的？“ “女的。哈哈“ Obviously he finds it fun, as usual, to say the opposite answer of what he thinks. “那么我要检查。“ of cos I cannot say this please, I will not be typing this entry if I ever said this. I myself hate pedophiles. So I gave him a stern look(hey I do have stern look ok, not everytime funny expressions or look), and repeated my qn. He stayed silent, but placed his index finger over the 2 words. Good, he’s seriously trying to remember those 2 words. But after more close observation, his index finger is moving from 男to女den 女to 男. Den I saw his lips moving as well. “%$#@&*@!!! u dont minimaniminimor again i tell u!” “haha. How u know I was doing it?” “cos I am not stupid”. “one last time, are u 男or 女？“ “男lor “ He’s a very smart boy, but too smart for his own good. “how do u pronounce this word?” I said as I pointed to 块。 “块。” “好！一块什么？” “一块大便！” “好，你生日我送你一块大便。” “不要，我送你。” “你送我，我再送你。” I figure that it is not getting anywhere, so I had to tell him to stop, and say I will tell his mum if he continues. Since he can say yi kuai da bian, I know he confirm know yi kuai dan gao. On Friday, I bought a copy of The New Paper. On the cover page was a girl wearing a super skimpy piece of bikini. I still tot she wearing one made of leaves. Anyway it did not really catch my attention(cos her figure is not good), but the fact that she is a teacher caught my attention. In a nutshell, she is a teacher who entered a bikini contest and she posted a few pictures online. No big deal if we are in America or even Europe. But we are in Asia and Singapore. So that’s a big hoo-ha. MOE gave her a warning, and parents are very critical of her actions. Which leads me to think. Can we, as teachers have our own private lives at all? Someone said you are a teacher 24/7, u don’t have any so called private life. What u say, do, wear and even eat and go to must conform to the public image of teachers. I say, teachers can do any shit they want, just don’t be caught or seen. Do an Edison Chan and you will be the first teacher to sacked yet worshipped by guys everywhere. Point-in-case, for example, I just woke up, hair is super messy, unshaved(I mean moustache and beard ok), smell of overnite sweat and saliva and maybe other sticky stuff, wear a singlet, and a pants no one sure whether is it boxers or shorts or wat, go downstairs and buy some breakfast. It’s nothing wrong, cos I may still look much more glamourous than some uncles or aunties downstairs. But the point is, hey I am a teacher. What happens when my student, holding the hands of his or her dad or mum walks past me in NTUC? “mummy, mummy, see, he is my teacher.” “who? Where?” “neh tat one, in the milk(cow’s milk) corner.” “oh, tat uncle. Are u sure? Is he ur teacher or ur school attendant? Cos He looks older than ur grandpa.” “yes I am sure.” “He’s a retired relief teacher rite?” “no, he’s the my Chinese teacher, the HOD of mother tongue department, Level head for p2, and future vice principal, principal and eventual minister of education I heard.” “oh, gosh, wat happened to him man? Come on, let us meet him.” They walk toward me, who is still checking out which milk is not from China. “hi excuse me?” said the mum. “oh sorry am I blocking you? Are u looking for milk?” I said and den I turned around, took a look at her and continued, “oh wait, sorry, I don’t tink u are looking for milk, cos… cos u sure don’t look like u lack milk. “ “EXCUSE ME? Anyway, are you my son’s Chinese teacher? He is my son”, she replied and den pointing to her son who is hiding behind her. “oh I envy this boy, cos he got so much milk to drink when he was young. Oh no sorry, oh this boy, no I am not his Chinese Teacher. You have got the wrong person. Do I look like a teacher? Thank you so much, it certainly made my day, together with the milk, I mean the milk I am going to buy. Well, I am a self-employee.” “see? I told u he cannot be ur teacher” “sorry to disturb u sir, please excuse us, and continue searching for ur milk”. “no problem, I don’t tink I wanna buy any milk already, cos I have seen the best, yet I cannot buy that”. “EXCUSE ME? Anyway we gotta go, and u better go home and bathe”. “Mummy, I am 100% sure that is my Chinese teacher. Mummy, he’s lying.” “Let’s go home, enough of ur nonsense, I have seen ur Chinese Teacher’s photo before, that cannot be him. I’m bringing u to the optician now.” Well well well, point is, as a teacher, a public figure, u definitely have to watch what u wear and do when u are outside, even in your own neighbourhood. People judge you by how u present urself outside of school as well. Teachers are supposed to be role models. No matter how good a teacher u are in school, if u ever had the above kind of conversation with any parent outside, u are dead meat. To conclude, it’s bye and I will be back soon. If u read every word of this long post patiently until here, congrats, it was meant to test ur patience, and u have won 2 chances in our lucky draw to win a 120 inch LCD tv. Stay tuned for the lucky draw results. P.S. this is not the long long post I have promised. Haha. | 
